Today is a sad day, yesterday was a stressed day; I just felt so completely overwhelmed and exhausted. Today is a sad day, I keep breaking out into tears every few minutes, and I’m not even sure why. I wish that my brain had an on and off switch. I need to stop thinking so much. I keep trying to keep my mind off of everything by reading, playng video games, but I get tired of it easily, and then I am back on to thinking about everything and anything. I guess I should really be doing something productive, like cleaning my room, but when I start to think about I get that overwhelmed knot in my stomach and push it away, one of the few thoughts that I can push away.
Theres a huge part of me that wants to drive over to michael;s and buy some jewelery supplies, the last time I was there they had such beautiful beads and baubles and charms, and I would love to just get myself back into that. It was something I really loved doing when I was a kid, and I really felt proud of it too. But I just lack the effort, as with so many things, I cant even motivate myself up out of bed. I know its just the depression, I thought I was doing so good too lately, I guess hapiness can never last long, especially in my distorted mind. I wish I can get past this, I wish I could free myself from this. I wish, I don’t know.