Father Lucifer

A note on titles: I’m too lazy to come up with witty titles for my blog, so what I do is I turn on Pandora, and whatever the first song that comes up is the title. A lot of times, they fit really well with the theme of the blog. this one seemed a little too perfect, it being father’s day and all…


So I got my period, thank god, I was getting really nervous there for a second, I had the a plan all thought out. thats a hard and weird feeling to have to go through, I tried to put it out of my head as much as I could, but when I started to get a little nasueas it really pushed my worries of the edge. But I’m free of worries now, and I have my doctors appointment on tuesday, so I can talk to her about going back on the pill again.

Although I’m still so unsure about my thoughts on children and becoming a mother. Its so weird, i had always been so adamant that i don’t want children, and however my thoughts may change when I met the right person, and now I think about having a baby all the time. I’m not sure though if its the whole “right person” idea or not, I mean its definitely a part of my change of heart. But I think its mostly because I work with older people and babies seem to be all that they talk about. And I see their babies, and how happy sweet they are, and how happy they make their parents, and I can’t help but think I want one. And then this happens and I’m mapping out the route to the clinic. Oh well I’m sure when and if the time ever comes I’ll know it and I’ll be ready for it.

Well besides from becoming a mother any time soon, I at least know for certain that I will make a good wife.  I remember this one time, a date telling me that “someday I’ll make a some lucky guy really happy.” I know that he was just trying to be nice, but at the time I thought it was probably one of the cruelest things a guy could say to a girl. Now that I’ve met that some lucky guy, and I know I’m making him happy, it couldn’t make me anymore happy. I took care of my baby all weekend without any second thoughts or exceptions. He had an awful toothache, which turned out to be his wisdom tooth, but I called the dentist for him, drove him there and waited for him, held the ice pack on his cheeck for him, and was just the best nurse I could be, and he was truly thankful for it. I like taking care of people, and I would do it for him any time. And I really think that we’re both lucky to have found each other, because we are both making each other happy.


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